I sometimes ponder how many mistakes the average person makes in a lifetime? Certainly, if we were even able to count them all they would number in the thousands or even more for some of us. If we could view a list of our mistakes, it would most likely be rather simple to categorize these errors of judgment into groups estimating the relative severity of these mistakes from mild to severe. Since hindsight is “20-20” (they say) we might even be able to identify the worst mistakes of our lives, the ones that were the most costly in terms of keeping us from doing or having something we thought we truly desired or wanted.

If you were to isolate the three to five worst mistakes of your life, what would they be? And if you could identify the top mistakes of your life, would you allow me to tell you something regarding who you are today in regard to these mistakes you made? There are certain things I know may be true about you because I found them to be true for myself, however, read no further if you would rather not know what I have discovered.

These three truths summarize what I have learned: 

Truth #1 

These mistake(s) most likely continue to be one of the greatest personal sources of internal psychic pain and suffering that may periodically afflict you from time to time as you think about what the event or events may have cost you. These singular events may be at the heart of an alcohol or substance abuse problem that will not go away.  They may also be a precipitating factor in experiencing depressive symptoms that have dogged you for years. 

Truth #2 

Continuing to habitually dwell upon or ruminate on these significant mistakes we made in our past does a real number on our self-esteem by increasing the shame (or defectiveness) we may feel as a result. The more shameful or defective we feel, the more likely we are to make more life-changing mistakes.